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Multiculturalism is a reality
in the US and for those of us who do business globally. The US has more
legal immigrants yearly than all the other countries in the world combined.
Also there are vast cultural differences among "native" Americans
living in the US for several generations, as you know if you've done
business with a New Yorker (better be quick!) or bi'ness with a Texan
(better stand at a 90% angle to your male companion).
Culture is not ethnic or
racial. It is learned and of course each culture is different. Treat
everyone like a unique individual, as you would like to be treated, don't
get hung up on stereotypes, and develop your emotional intelligence so you
can be more intuitive about how to communicate with, negotiate with, and
provide services and products for people from cultural backgrounds other
than your own.
1. In South Texas, if
you're talking to a male, they will stand at a 90% angle to you.
If you move to reorient, a
"dance" will begin. This is a markedly non-intimate position
(macho), and often the eyes are cast down at the floor or out across the
floor, not at the other party. South Texans generally say "Pleased to
know you," while Mid Westerners say, "Pleased to meet you" or
"Pleased to make your acquaintance." More from San Antonio,
Texas – in a strictly social setting, it’s not customary to shake hands
with women. In society, there’s the haute hug – two women will
parody a hug with no part of their body touching, just tapping each other on
the back. Often with an older, respected person, or to express
affection with respect, you shake hands, then cover their and your hands
with your left hand, patting or stroking while maintaining eye contact.
2. Be aware that most of
the world does not greet by shaking hands.
3. People from Asian
cultures bow in greeting, but the bows are different.
People from Cambodia and Laos
will often bow with both hands together in front of the chest as if praying.
In Japan, the depth of the bow signifies the level of respect for the other
party. Many Koreans prefer bowing and if they shake hands, the right hand is
supported at the wrist by the left hand to show respect. Thais bow with
palms together about chest-high with their fingers outstretched. And, there
are exceptions. The Taiwanese usually nod the head in recognition rather
than bow.
4. Some cultures naturally
greet by hugging.
Native Hawaiians hug each
other, exchanging breaths. The custom is called "aha". Ancient
Hawaiians, incidentally, actually bumped heads together. Mexicans use the
abrazo (hug).
5. Some cultures kiss!
If your Cuban male client
kisses you on the cheek, you know you've made the short list. Immigrant men
from the Middle East often shake hands with a slight nod or bow and then
exchange kisses on both cheeks. Men from that country usually don't shake
hands with women, nor do they introduce the woman with them. Do not attempt
to shake hands with a Middle Eastern woman unless -- and here's where the EQ
comes in -- she extends her hand. Men in Eastern Europe, Portugal, Spain and
Italy will often kiss male friends on the cheek.
6. Pakistanis (largely
Muslims) greet with salaam which is the equivalent of our "hello".
The salaam is done by bowing
with the palm of the right hand on the forehead. Salaam means
"peace" or "Peace be with you."
7. Postures also have
meaning.
Ready to settle in with your
Middle Eastern client? As an American, you’re likely most
comfortable sitting back in your chair and crossing your legs. Well, don't!
In the Middle East, one of the most insulting things you can do is sit with
your legs crossed so the bottom of your foot is pointed in the other
person's direction. The foot is the dirtiest part of the body and the sole
of the shoe is the dirtiest of the low. To show someone the bottom of your
foot means you're looking for a fight!
8. Even hand-shaking
cultures such as England, France, Germany, Italy and the US do it
differently.
Brits prefer a brief but firm
handshake. The French prefer a light grip while sharing one gentle single
shake that is quickly withdrawn. Germans will give a very firm handshake --
just one "pump" then quick withdrawal. More than one shake with
Germans or French is considered aggressive. Italians will shake hands and
then hug friends or kiss them on both cheeks. In many southern US
states, it is not customary to shake hands with women.
9. Bear in mind the other
person may be trying to accommodate to your culture, so don't assume they
will use their traditional greeting.
For example, if you start
first, for instance bowing, and then see a hand extended for a shake, and
switch to that, the other person will then have switched to a bow and this
becomes awkward. For many cultures such "awkwardness" will kill
the deal early on.
10. Greetings are critical
first moves in relationships.
Begin with a polite word or
two, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Taekwondo, it's so nice to meet you at
last," and then hesitate for a moment to see what they want to do and
are comfortable with. Then mirror their gesture, be it bow, hand shake,
abrazo or nothing! Use your intuition! When in doubt, err on the side of
conservatism.
c)Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc
. Individual and executive coaching in emotional intelligence. EQ
culture programs for organizations. Distance learning. EQ Alive!- http://www.eqcoach.net
- train to coach emotional intelligence, classes start monthly. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc
for FREE ezine.
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